What's In Store for Me

I had a brief, enlightening conversation with my pastor this morning after church. What I thought was going to be a quick talk turned into something so much deeper. She recently asked me to be an officer and I respectfully declined. I don't feel content enough to take on that type of responsibility. The talk between her and I started with a comment that she really wanted me to be an officer in the church. I responded by saying that I'm in such a weird space right now. That short statement triggered an in-depth conversation. I won't go into great detail about what transpired but I will give a high-level overview. She told me that I'm an old soul and that I have a wealth of knowledge to share. She's always believed that it is my destiny to lead and inspire others. She also said that I have so much talent, education, and business acumen but I don't know what to do with any of it. True statement. I'm so lost at this point and I'm still trying to figure out what my purpose is. What really struck a cord with me was her comparison of me to King David. To shorten a long explanation, I like David am experiencing a period of hardship. There's a scripture stating that David was a man after God's own heart. My pastor seems to believe that I am a woman after God's heart. I know what is right and I will go astray but I always know who I can depend on. One of the last things she said to me was that before I'd be able to help anyone through their struggle, I'd have to experience one of my own. I'm in the "wilderness" so to speak and there's no end in sight. I can understand that in order to inspire and help others, I have to go through one of my own so I can provide the wisdom and guidance someone may need in the future. What I dislike is that this period of discontent may continue longer than I would like. So much is in question at this point and I don't like uncertainty and ambiguity. I'll just continue to press on and learn to cope...