Untitled Poem

Untitled

It is said that slow and steady wins the race,

In the race for you heart I’ll make sure to keep that pace.

If we move too fast, the race may abruptly end,

There is no victor; the chance to win your heart is over before it begins.

For history proves that the swift endure the most pain and devastation,

And the ending comes as a result of failure and tribulation.

The obstacles faced come so quickly they are difficult to manage,

Eventually stopped in our tracks, the lead is lost and there is no advancement.

Keeping the pace slow yields the greatest reward,

The path to the finish line is not easy; the effort required is more.

Hurdles met are trivial and less of a distraction,

An open mind, open heart, and patience are keys in the plan of action.

So in this race for you heart I’ll make sure to keep a solid pace,

Here’s to hoping that slow and steady REALLY wins the race.

You're My Little Secret

Unbeknownst to many associates and friends, I've been in a relationship for almost 4 months now. I feel so out of practice.  I dated someone for a couple months last year but it never felt real because of the distance.  The last real relationship I was in began in Summer '01 and ended Spring '02.  The 9 month long courtship was my longest and commenced after several years of talking in secrecy.  When we finally decided to make it official, I'll admit that things were very one-sided.  I lacked much emotion and rarely showed affection publicly or privately.  I was too stubborn and selfish to truly open my heart up to someone.  It took me years to realize that I was the culprit in the culmination of that relationship.  Years have passed since then and I've had many come in and out of my life during that 10 year drought.  I've had much time to mature as a woman and develop that emotional aspect that's so important in any relationship.  In recent years I've "dated" a few that I expected to be around for the long-term.  For various reasons, none of which were any fault of mine, those relationships did not last.  One thing is evident, the emotional evolution that should have taken place never did.  I still acted as if I was a teenager in high school who was emotionally disconnected.  When pondering why, I came to the conclusion that no one was able to take me to that place of emotional vulnerability.

Now we fast forward to Summer '12.  For about 3-4 months prior to June, I was living it up and enjoying life as any single person should.  I was truly blind-sided by the beautiful surprise that entered my life.  I wasn't seeking to be with anyone - was finally living for me which I hadn't done in a while. For the first time in my life I've found someone who's completely into me, loves me whole-heartedly, and wants nothing but love in return.  Sounds like a recipe for happiness, right?  Well it is, but we've had some rough times.  We're very different people that are at different stages in life.  When times are good, they're great.  When things are bad, the arguing can be compared to armageddon.  We argue about many different things but recently the arguments have centered around my lack of emotion.  I do have to say that I've made great strides in this area since being in this relationship but I'm a work in progress.  Due to the nature of the fighting, we decided to give each other a little space.  It's not like we see each other much due to my crazy work schedule but we are in constant communication.  It hasn't even been 24 hours since we mutually agreed on a break but it's already killing me.  I heard Ne-Yo's "Lazy Love" and Joe's "Closer" on the way back to work from lunch and was uncharacteristically emotional.  I was so overwhelmed that I actually sat in my car and cried for about 5 minutes.  Doesn't seem like much time but for a person like me, it's an eternity.  I know we're not broken up but I wasn't expecting to feel so much pain behind it.  I do believe that both of us need time to lead our lives independent of one another for a little while but the infrequent contact will be difficult.

If you read this, I need you to know that I care for you and I always miss you when we're apart.  You have a special place in my heart that is only reserved for you.

Argument: New Age Rap vs. Old School

I was reading an article in reference to the newest controversy in the rap genre - Nicki Minaj backing out of Hot 97's Summer Jam in New York.  She backed out based on a comment made by Peter Rosenberg (Hot 97 DJ) in reference to her song "Starships".  In so many words, he said he believes the song is crap and is the most sell-out song in rap history.  Reading a little bit of the back story behind his comment intrigued me and sparked a need to speak on the situation. 

I'll be the first to say that I am not a fan of Nicki Minaj or rap in general though I indulge in it from time to time.  When I do listen, I prefer the conscious rappers like Common, Talib Kweli, Mos Def, etc. because the content of their material has substance (disclaimer: just my opinion). I digress. Rosenberg's diss of "Starships", comes from the standpoint of a "classicist", or as I call him, a purist.  He's entitled to his opinion, although that was not the best forum to state it.  I'm sure many purists of the art form share a similar opinion of her song.  It is "pop-ish" in nature which is a big driver behind it's commercial success.  But to single out "Starships" is not really fair.  It has been a trend since possibly the late 90s (and early as the new millenium) for certain rap artists to "sell-out" for commercial/mainstream success.  Look at Ja Rule, Eminem, and dare I say Lil' Wayne - all of which broke away from the grimy lyrics and hardcore beats and traded them in for light-hearted lyrics and pop-inspired beats.  These are some of the artists that helped usher rap into the mainstream.  I can't hate on their hustle because at the end of the day it's all about making money.  Honestly, the rappers of yester-years weren't extremely profitable with a small segment/niche of listeners.  By going mainstream, the rap artists of today have expanded their audience and increased their earning potential.  It's a simple business/marketing concept at work here.  Cater to a few (niche) and you'll always have a loyal fan base with a sustainable level of profitability.  Cater to the masses and you're sure to lose some loyalists but your fan base is sure to at least double, along with your profitability.  Every action/decision has an opportunity cost (losing fans in this instance) but when the pockets are deepened, do you think the rapper really cares? I think not.

So, all this to say what?  I actually don't agree with the notion that these rap artists are selling out.  Music, in all its forms, will evolve - that's what has happened over the course of history.  There was a composer or artist who wanted to shake things up and usher in a new sound.  Is there anything wrong with it? Not at all.  It just draws greater creativity out of current artists and makes everyone think outside of the box.  Steve Jobs, Mozart, and the Sugar Hill Gang all have one thing in common - they pushed the envelope - and are heralded as trailblazers and innovators.  So do we have to call rappers that go "commercial" sell-outs because they pushed the envelope of their artistry to appeal to a broader range of listeners?  I don't believe so, but it's only my opinion - I'm sure there are many who don't agree.  I call it evolving.  I can guarantee that the infusion of pop into Rap will become a new norm.  If you look at R&B/Hip-Hop, Chris Brown and Usher are currently doing the same thing.  Usher's sound has changed dramatically since his Confessions album and Chris Brown's F.A.M.E had a different sound/feel to it.  They both have infused dance/techno type sounds in their music which has broadened their appeal to the masses.  Like I said before, don't knock an artist's hustle when the paper is stackin'.  As much as I don't like Nicki Minaj, she's gettin paper off her "commercialized music' and helping to change the game in the process. Do ya thing Nicki.