Ball of Confusion

I can't believe it's been over 4 months since I last blogged. It's easy for me to remember things I want to do when I have structure. For me job=structure. I've let so many things fall by the wayside simply because I don't have a job. I'd schedule things on my calendar and make task lists so I accomplished all that I needed/wanted to. Now, I pretty much make promises I don't keep because I forget or remember a week or so later. It's not something that happens all of the time but occurs more then it should. I need to get it together.

Having lots of free time hasn't been totally unproductive. I visited friends in Stl and took an amazing, much needed vacation to Jamaica. I was able to spend a lot of time with a friend before she moved away. I've put more time and effort into my exercise program - the goal is to lose another 20 lbs before I go into maintenance mode. Yes, I know most people think I look small already but I'm still not at a healthy weight. 20 lbs is equal to approx. 6-7% body fat - about the amount I have left to lose. I'm hoping to hit that goal by the end of summer. Something I haven't done that I plan to do this month is start reading. I always buy good books but I'm usually too lazy to read them. With all this free time, I really have no excuse not to read right now.

When anyone loses their job, questions of and self-worth and competency always arise. I've come to the conclusion that I really have no clue what I want to do next. I've had tons of time to reflect on my life's direction and I've come to realize that it is a process. So many potential careers have crossed my mind - some more extreme than others. Do I want to stay on the project management or business analysis track? Maybe. Should I study for a certfication in Lean Six Sigma? Possibly. Should I take some time to become more fluid in SQL and other database languages in hopes of landing a database administration job? Not a bad idea.

The most off the wall idea thus far has been joining the military. I've had mixed reviews on the idea but most have been supportive. No, I am not trying to enlist. The military has officer options that would allow me to go to training school and be commisioned as an officer upon graduation. No prior military experience is required. Crazy enough, I've thought a lot about and it is a very real possibility for me. So real, I'm going to talk to a Navy recruiter tomorrow (6/4/09) about what they have to offer me. I was focused on the Navy and Air Force (leaning towards the Air Force) but have decided to look into every branch to see what would be the best fit for me. I'd always look at those military commericals for the Army, Marines, and Navy and never give a thought to joining. Now, as I go through my quarter-life crisis, joining one of these branches is sounding pretty good to me. The pay as an officer is not too shabby and the benefits far surpass those of a corporate job. The greatest benefit to me would be the ability to retire in 20 yrs! Who can beat that?! If I do decide to join the military, it won't be for some time. I have more research to do and some hardcore physical training to do in preparation for military boot camp. My trainer will be kicking my butt this summer - I already know it!

Even if I don't decide to do the military thing right now, I have considered looking for employment with the government or other businesses elsewhere. I just feel that there are more opportunities outside of MO/KS and maybe it's time for me to really strike out on my own and see how well I fair. I've always had friends or family near me so moving to the east or west coast by myself would be a huge challenge and a new adventure - something I feel I'm ready for.

Everything is up in the air at this point. I just continue to pray that God will order my steps.